About Name Change Kit and Legal Forms & Issues Set
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Name Change, Prenuptial Agreements, Wills, Issues concerning
children and 2nd Marriages.
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We asked the
Hon. Mark Ovard to write a review of the U.S.D.S. set of materials. Judge Ovard
served as judge one of the largest judicial districts for over a decade, has been a premier
lecturer to Judges, wedding professionals, business and civil organizations,
and at political events. In lectures to Judges, the U.S. Bar Association formally
presented an award for the best judicial training in the United States.
Sometimes called "the preacher" on the lecture circuit, he goes
beyond the specific details of law and legal form, to a larger practical and
philosophical understanding of issues a person faces. As a judge and
minister, he was officiated nearly 10,000 wedding ceremonies personally. (For more information about him, click
here) |
Hello!
If you wish to
skip over my personal editorializing and philosophy of this, scrolls down past
this section in italics…
I was asked to review the materials
offered through DFWX and to comment on their usefulness and whether they are
worthwhile.
Absolutely,
and they are quite unique. This is not just a collection of forms, though all
the forms are there - including many not found elsewhere and useful years from
now too.
Over the years, the stress, demands
and pressure placed upon a person in our society has grown geometrically.
Inside, we are continuously told that we are powerless - endless rules and
requirements continually put in front of us. As we drive down the road, endless
signs tell us to stop, turn, don't park - with constant threats - you will be
ticketed, sued, prosecuted, park here and your car is towed, don't stand here,
don't walk there, do not enter…
Our mail boxes are full of
instructions and demands - pay this now or else, fill this out and return it - our
homes fill with paper, piles of receipts, bills, invoices, records, all which
we are supposed to keep. For all of this, most people feel somehow they just
are not doing enough, that they are too unorganized and too far behind at all
times.
You probably have seen the old WWII
movies of the German Gestapo agent in the black trench coat saying,
"Papers please" as people pass through a line. We face this often. We
are required to produce and carry all sorts of identity cards, ID or driver's
license, social security card, birth certification - and we stand in line for
the privilege of paying government fees for license plates, license renewals,
marriage license, with lines at stores asking for I.D. - sometimes told to go
stand in another line and then told we do not have the necessary documentation,
treated us as if we are stupid.
In all of this, we presume that if we
do all our chores, fill out all the forms, pay all the fees, keep all the
records, mail in all the papers, stand in all the lines, have all the
documentation, and follow all instructions, then everything will go fine and we
will stay out of trouble.
But this is to misunderstand how
organizations work and how life works.
While we are quickly treated correctly
as though we are stupid and then it our fault when we do not follow all the
endless rules the other created, you may have noticed that when it is the other
person's or organization's fault or mistake, there is no rush to correct the
problem whatsoever. Instead, we are told to wait, stand in another line, fill
out another form, go away, wait, call later.
The laws of our country collectively
are millions of pages long, with ten's of millions of pages of court rulings
and policy manuals that change and define these. Yet even if you follow all the
laws and rules of organizations, that does not mean things will go well at all.
The worst nightmares happen when you do everything right, and something goes
wrong.
In this all, internally and in our lives,
we are victimized from when we get up to when we go to sleep. Bureaucratic
errors and delays leave us feeling like we were burglarized - and there is
little concern to correct such mistakes. The set of material tells how to avoid
such problems and to build safety nets to avoid being a victim.
While the U.S.D.S. set of materials
has all the forms - including ones not in other sets - the greatest use of it
is how very quickly (usually within seconds) as you go through marriage
legalities to build safety nets and walls to prevent mistakes (not by your) and
cover yourself when they happen.
Yet I found talking in principle does not really help much, rather to give actual examples of what this means - and may happen to you. Think it can't happen? In fact, the only question is how many times you will face this in your life. Here are real examples:
Name Change problems…
This
exact incident occurred on September 7, 2001 (our materials are continuous
updated)… in this metropolitan area alone, it will happen many times a week.
The bride had done everything right and typical concerning her marriage
license. Gotten married, minister signed the license and he sent it in. She had
all the forms to change her name. No problem, no?
She could have
bought another name change kit or used free forms for a lawyer web site, or
gotten them from the government agencies. But none would have prevented what
happened. Her problem is a VERY common one.
We have yellow
page advertisements, web sites and wedding guide publication ads in our area,
Dallas-Fort Worth, which is a massive metropolitan area of about six million
people. These listings include offering "marriage license info." -
when, where and how to get a marriage license. But on average, one to three
times a day, we get a call from someone at wit's end asking if we can help them
get their marriage license back after getting married. We receive many e-mails
from around the country of such problems.
This bride had
married in the first of June, minister filled out and sent in the license (or
said he did), and now it was September and she still had absolutely no proof
that she was married. The clerks told her it was lost - after she waited 6
weeks.
This was a
SERIOUS problem for her, as her step-son needed major dental surgery and she
could not prove that he was covered. The dentist would not do the work without
being paid in advance or with insurance proof. But near all couples have to
wait a month to a month and a half - at best. She was going on 3 months - and
they were telling her it would be AT LEAST 4-6 weeks longer!
Then and only
then, 4 1/2 months after her marriage, could she start the name changing
process. This is not uncommon. For most countries here, it takes 4-6 weeks (if
everything goes right) to get the marriage license back. Four to six weeks with
no proof of marriage whatsoever. When I officiate a wedding, the couple has
immediate proof of marriage.
Because a friend
of mine had officiated the ceremony, I volunteered to meet her at the marriage
license office to see if that time could be reduced. After a few minutes, she
has her certified license and was on her way - finally - saving 4-6 weeks. I
did not pull strings or make any threats, filled out no form, rather just knew
how the system works - within bureaucratic rules of government documents - she
could have a instant proof. Still, she waited 3 months for what she could have
had the day she married. No "name change form" would have prevented
this, but the solution is remarkably easy - and FREE!
This set of information
tells how to avoid these traps, It usually is not a question of "legal
forms", but a matter of simple paperwork most do not do.
A HORROR STORY - No license
after marriage -
Heading out on a
honeymoon without proof of marriage, domestically and certainly to a foreign
country, is inviting disaster of terrible possibilities. This is the worst
story I personal came to know of - about 8 years ago.
The bride and
groom, after a beautiful wedding, jetted off to Mexico for their honeymoon. On
the second night, she leaned against the railing outside their 3rd
story room with a beautiful view towards the ocean. The railing gave way and
she fell three stories, landing on her back - crushing her spin. Miraculously,
she lived and still had feeling her arms and legs. But time was critical.
Most other
countries are not like the U.S. They will just watch you die in a hospital
unless you can pay and unless someone authorizes the medical care. But she has
gone into unconsciousness, her last pleading a terrified belief that she was
going to become paralyzed. She was just laying on the ambulance cart in the
waiting room and they even pushed her into a hallway.
No, they would
not take someone's word for it on the phone. No, wedding photos did not help.
Without proof of marriage, he had no authority to authorize any medical care
and could not prove his insurance covered her.
In desperation,
he hired a taxi van to take her to a private doctor in a small office (they
would not even let him take her on the gurney) - where he max-ed out their bank
accounts and credit cards - bribing the doctor to do something. The doctor
wrapped her in a body cast, gave her morphine, and told him that he better get
her to a hospital before permanent paralysis set in.
Can you image
such a nightmare? How "this can't be happening!" was going through
his head as his wife lay unconscious on table, crushed spine, in a little
office in Mexico? Now he was broke, no car, no room, nothing. Making it more
bizarre, the authorities told him that they could not leave the country because
they still owes on the balance of their hotel room and the hospital for what
little they had done!
He begged two
Canadians to help smuggler her across the border under a tarp in the back of
their pickup and, finally, in Houston, got medical care. But his insurance
would not cover an injury in Mexico. So that hospital did the care to avoid
further nerve lose, put her in a better body cast and sent her home three weeks
after.
Back home, there
was an non-payment eviction notice on their apartment door and notices of
warrants for both their arrest for hot checks) he had cleared out the accounts
in Mexico for the bribe.)
Warrant officers
even came to the door, but seeing her in a body cast decided to back off an
arrest. The D.A.s office graciously said it would wait "until she was
better" to arrest and prosecute her. It was a few days after that I met
her - at another wedding I was officiating (I did not do hers, they would have
had proof of marriage if I had.) She was on a couch in a full upper body cast.
Hearing this
story, there was not much advise I could give her, other than not to accept the
D.A.s offer. Rather, she should send a letter saying that she was voluntarily
surrendering herself for arrest and that she would not accept less than one
year in jail.
"I
demand that you arrest me and I will refuse any probation" (a person never
has to accept any probation or terms of probation.) Since it would have cost
the County $100,000 for her medical care, they instead dropped the cases.
IF you are going
out of state, and certainly out of the country, on your honeymoon, for both
legal problems (arrests, civil disputes - which can be jailable) and for
medical emergencies, proof of marriage is all-decisive. These materials tell
you how - it's easy.
Neither of these
stories are uncommon. Problems proving you are married are extremely common and
completely avoidable from the moment you are married.
WHY A WILL??
The effects of Wills
can have significant and great importance not only in the event of death, but
also in other legal disputes - over children and property.
If you marry, and
your spouse dies, everything is yours, no?
No, nothing is
yours at first. The estate automatically must go to probate court (one
paragraph in a will avoids that) and because there is no executor until the
Court appoints one (that you will have to pay and because you did not
designation someone in a will- does NOT have to be a lawyer) - all bank
accounts, credit card accounts, and business accounts are frozen at least for
weeks - you are suddenly literally broke.
Nor do you get it
all if there is no will. His/her relatives will probably get 50% your lawyer's
fees will come from your half and you will pay half the executor's fees - as
your credit is ruined, house goes into foreclosure and car repossessed with
your accounts and credit cards frozen.
If your deceased
spouse's ex has primary custody of any children of a previous marriage, the
children will likely a large part of everything YOU have (it all became
community property when you married - a GOOD reason for Pre-Nuptial Agreements)
-
meaning
his/her ex will get probably about 1/3rd of everything that YOU have
if there is no will. And since there was no language in any will about the
children, you will likely never see the children again (as money is involved).
This also can
come into play (legal nightmares) if there are children involved in the
marriage from any previous marriage in the event of medical problems
(incapacitation.)
Old insurance
policies and retirement accounts can really add up - but there is a VERY good
chance that your spouse never changed the beneficiary - meaning it all will go
to his/her ex. You could hire a lawyer at thousands of dollars to fight this -
if you have thousands of dollars after your accounts are frozen. Insurance
usually pays within 15 days - so now you are trying to get it back in a court
judgment a year or two later, assuming any of the money is left. Your chances
are slim.
Get the
picture?
No one like to
think of death. But it come to all of us. Do we lover our spouse and children
enough not to abandon them in death to financial and personal chaos and ruin
because we were too lazy to sign a simple will? That is not love. But reckless
thoughtlessness.
Imagine years
down the road, the prospect that you could completely lose the children and the
ex would get all insurance, all retirement money, and 1/3rd or more
of everything you have going to relatives that maybe never liked you anyway -
as you go into complete financial and credit ruin.
A simple will can
avoid all that - and the will set addresses such very-real potential issues. It
is NOT just a "Will Form Kit" - it is a set that covers the
nightmarish, real potentials in terms of children, property, old insurance
polices, retirement accounts, EXs,
relatives and personal rights - projecting into the future various
possibilities so you do not have to write it over and over again - always safe.
Pre-Nuptial Agreements…
People tend to
think they are only to cover property issues in event of a divorce - and do not
want to think in that direction. That is NOT the only reason for Pre-Nuptials.
It may be for opposite reasons entirely.
You have heard of
"the marriage penalty" in terms of taxes, but the real marriage
penalty is in terms of PROPERTY and LEGAL RIGHTS AND LIABILITIES.
When you marry,
in many ways you BOTH become responsible for each other's debts, liabilities,
lawsuits etc. under "community property", This is NOT to your
advantage.
Here is a simple
example. If you both really do want to each own 50% of all property such as the
house - you want that "in writing" before the marriage so it is never
"community property" - but rather specifically 50/50 non-community
property. This can cover future home purchases and property as well.
Why? Because if
one of you does have a major legal jeopardy (lawsuit, big debt, business debts
that come up, tax problems etc.) - they can NOT take it all, at best 50% Not
only does this in many instances save the property, but also it is difficult to
foreclose on 50% of a house, seize 50% of a boat etc, so they likely will make
a better deal with you - particularly the IRS and tax people. It also allows
you to shelter money and property with each other as long as it is not fraud in
hard economic times of risk.
BUT this MUST be
done BEFORE marriage and before community property is enacted in the marriage.
If you EVER think
you will be in business for yourself, ever might be in a big lawsuit, might
have tax problems, you WANT A PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT so that rather than your
risked doubled and rights cut in half, you are twice as strong and capable of
financial independent maneuvering. The "marriage penalty" becomes a
"marriage bonus" in legal terms with Pre-Nuptial Agreements (good
ones.)
Pre-Nuptials also
are extremely helpful in terms of rights concerning children in the event of
death, disablement, and custody disputes.
Of course, Pre-Nuptials
can set other terms of ownership and rights, and can nicely also serve as a
declaration of goals for the marriage as a philosophical and spiritual
statement.
Did you ever read
any Pre-Nuptial Kit discussion that explains how they can give you great
financial power, great financial protection, and a His and Her defense in legal
and economic issues - to really be a team? A Pre-Nuptial Agreement can keep the
good legal sides of marriage, but eliminates the terrible risks and
shortcomings.
Our Pre-Nuptial
forms and language is what others have ("this is mine and that is
yours…"), but also offers real world application language that is an
enhancement on many fronts such as above (and many more) - AND explains why and
what it covers. Of course, a Pre-Nuptial Agreement can be canceled later if
both agree and can have a time limit to certain provisions.
Personally, I
truly believe in "all my worldly goods I thee endow". Yet without
contradiction, in my own marriage, the handicaps of "community property"
and "community liability" turned this upside down.
One awful effect
of financial problems of one of the marriage partners (which may just be bad
luck), is that the other quickly tires of being at the same risk and losing all
they earned and their half because of this. Pre-Marriage division of property
50/50 as NON-COMMUNITY property is almost always wise if risk might be
possible.
Yet it does not
have to be 50/50 across the board, It can be 100% / 0%, items and accounts and
liabilities can be specified. "ALL HIS BUSINESS DEBTS ARE HIS."
"ALL MY PAYCHECKS ARE MINE…"
A Prenuptial
agreement can avoid bringing past economic and legal problems into the marriage
provide benefits well into the future. They are not only in consideration of a
possible future break-up.
OTHER THINGS YOU WILL NOT
FIND IN ANY NAME CHANGE OR LEGAL FORM KITS…
Great attention
is given to children and related forms. Medical authorizations for babysitters
and relatives and just in general. Special forms for step-parents to give them
legal authorization to act as a parent. Power Of Attorney forms to quickly use
for each other's interests. A Living Will language set (giving the other power
in the event of catastrophic and non-recoverable injury or illness).
You can
not do these things after-the-fact. Often when a problem is realized, the
nightmare has begun and all but unstoppable. It is a lot easier to just get it
done, the material all in front of you, and then not worry about it.
Nor does the set
just give you a big set of forms in language you can not understand. It
explains what the practical purposes and considerations are - including the
ones NOT to use. The set if filled with little suggestions that take seconds,
but can affect your whole life.
There is
discussion of name changing if children of previous marriages are involved and
ways to legally have one name for business and another name for family and
social settings - both fully documented and useable.
CONCLUSION…
For years, I
lectured to Judges across the State in Judicial training. The U.S. Bar
Association declared it the best training program in the United States. But
while I talked of law in terms of law, more I spoke of law and legal issues in
real, applicable terms - as that is what really matters.
There are some
great misunderstandings about how our law, courts and government works. People
tend to think it is about fairness and reasonableness - but it is not. It is
about the rules of play, policy and personalities of those involved. Are the
rules in the game "Shoots and Ladders" or "Monopoly" about
fairness and reasonableness? No, they are just the rules. If another player,
through luck and using the tragedy of the rules has a hotel on Boardwalk you
land on, it was not "unfair."
Even the U.S.
Supreme Court has declared time and again that a person legally wins if they
prevail by the rules (law), even if they put it all together in ways unfairly
to their advantage and against someone else. You must play life by the rules as
they are, not as you want them to be or what you think they should be. The
fairness of it all comes from everyone can use the same rules - only they are
millions of pages long and most are not actually written anywhere! Still, that
is how it works.
To make this point
to other judges of what courts and law are about, often I began my lecture with
a story, an old joke, to make a point lost to most people:
"An old country Preacher, a
man of faith, was told at his church that a flood was coming as the rain
continued to pour down and that he needed to leave. He declared, "no, I
put my faith in the Lord!' and refused to leave.
Soon, water was climbing the stairs
and a deputy called from a boat, "Preacher! The dam's gonna bust! Climb in
the boat, hurry!". But the Preacher said no, he would trust God. He gave
the same answer to another Sheriff's boat from the window of the balcony a few
minutes later.
A bullhorn from a Coast Guard
helicopter blared out, "Preacher, tie the rope around your waist, we will
pull you up! Hurry" - as the Preacher clung to the cross on the top of the
steeple with one hand and his tattered and well used Bible in the other.
"NO! NO! I PUT MY FAITH IN THE LORD!" he shouted back through the
roar of the helicopter, torrential rain and rushing water.
And a wave from the busted dam washed
over him and he drown.
When he opened his eyes, he was before
the unimaginably beautiful Pearly Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter looked up from the Book.
smiled, and told him those sweet words, "Oh good and faithful servant, you
may enter heaven."
"Now just you wait a
minute!" the Preacher demanded, "there has to be a mistake here. I
completely put my faith in the Lord, I shouldn't be here!"
Puzzled, St. Peter replied,
"well, we don't make many mistakes here, but I'll check the Book" -
looking down at the Preacher's Book of Life.
After
looking over the last page, St. Peter looked up with a frown. "Preacher, I
don't know what on earth you are complaining about. We sent you two boats and a
helicopter."
People are like that.
Our law and society is like that. Everyone knows that divorce rates are growing
near geometrically - and causes often include legal hassles, issues of economic
conflict, and other stress elements. Millions, literally, millions of people
find themselves in court - terrible stress on a marriage. 90% or more of first
tries at business fail - nearly always with a divorce in the wake. Millions of
bankruptcies - often with divorce in the middle of it.
Everyone knows
that our society is highly legalistic, highly aggressive, highly stressful,
very competitive, rapidly changing and highly bureaucratic. And that people and
their marriages are victimized by this everyday - IF they do not face reality.
Endless annoyances, seeming glitches in the system messing up your plans, all
sorts of conflict hassles.
But within the
law, within how bureaucratic and society rules work, still found are the
answers IF you will face reality, not pretend things will be how you want
because you want it that way (which is what most people do). No court, no
police officer, no government employee or official, ever finds the word
"fairness" or "reasonable" in their oath. Simple logic
tells you that if you go through life without understanding or thinking about
the rules of life as they really are, your life is going to have a lot of
conflict and "bad luck" - just like playing monopoly without
understanding and ignoring the
rules.
In Court, how
many hundreds and hundreds of times did I explain in real terms the various bad
effects that could happen if they did not send a particular notice, write a
particular form, or take a particular action - knowing I might as well be
talking to the wall as they listen only to what they want to hear? They do not
avoid problems, rather complain of endless problems that come - only
after-the-fact. Then, a month or three years later, the person was back - not
having done what he/she should and complaining how unfair life was.
I had no patience
with this. They did it to themselves. They wanted to write the rules, not
follow what the rules really are - whether fair or unfair, reasonable or
unreasonable. Always stumbling into the future. They could have avoided all of
this in 5 minutes, but did not. "I told you this could happen, you knew
it could happen, you did not do what you needed to you, so now it happens. No
reason to explain it to you again. It's too late. You just lose."
Above, I gave a many explains of future problems, from as simple
as a lost marriage license to major economic lose. These affect millions and
millions of people a year, and take terrible tolls on their marriages and peace
of mind. You can think "none of those will ever happen to me" because
it seems easiest. If so, you are betting against the odds of the house,
gambling that you will be the one whose ball always lands on the number you
pick on the roulette wheel.
No wedding is complete until the
paperwork is done. The U.S.D.S. set of Name Change Kit, Prenuptial and Wills
forms and other legal issues is the best bargain you will find in the field of
weddings and the benefits will serve you all of your lives - and may just save
your marriage in the future. There is none other like it, because it is in real
terms concerning real issues in your future. And they are very easy, quick to
use.
A reality of life is that the rain
will come and the dam is going to bust. In fact, it will do so many, many
times. This Set is the two boats and a helicopter.
Hon. Mark
Ovard, Rev