About Name Change Kit and Legal Forms & Issues Set

·         Name Change, Prenuptial Agreements, Wills, Issues concerning children and 2nd Marriages.

 

We asked the Hon. Mark Ovard to write a review of the U.S.D.S. set of materials. Judge Ovard served as judge one of the largest judicial districts  for over a decade, has been a premier lecturer to Judges, wedding professionals, business and civil organizations, and at political events. In lectures to Judges, the U.S. Bar Association formally presented an award for the best judicial training in the United States. Sometimes called "the preacher" on the lecture circuit, he goes beyond the specific details of law and legal form, to a larger practical and philosophical understanding of issues a person faces. As a judge and minister, he was officiated nearly 10,000 wedding ceremonies personally. (For more information about him, click here)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello!

 

      If you wish to skip over my personal editorializing and philosophy of this, scrolls down past this section in italics…

 

      I was asked to review the materials offered through DFWX and to comment on their usefulness and whether they are worthwhile.

      Absolutely, and they are quite unique. This is not just a collection of forms, though all the forms are there - including many not found elsewhere and useful years from now too.

 

      Over the years, the stress, demands and pressure placed upon a person in our society has grown geometrically. Inside, we are continuously told that we are powerless - endless rules and requirements continually put in front of us. As we drive down the road, endless signs tell us to stop, turn, don't park - with constant threats - you will be ticketed, sued, prosecuted, park here and your car is towed, don't stand here, don't walk there, do not enter…

      Our mail boxes are full of instructions and demands - pay this now or else, fill this out and return it - our homes fill with paper, piles of receipts, bills, invoices, records, all which we are supposed to keep. For all of this, most people feel somehow they just are not doing enough, that they are too unorganized and too far behind at all times.

      You probably have seen the old WWII movies of the German Gestapo agent in the black trench coat saying, "Papers please" as people pass through a line. We face this often. We are required to produce and carry all sorts of identity cards, ID or driver's license, social security card, birth certification - and we stand in line for the privilege of paying government fees for license plates, license renewals, marriage license, with lines at stores asking for I.D. - sometimes told to go stand in another line and then told we do not have the necessary documentation, treated us as if we are stupid.

      In all of this, we presume that if we do all our chores, fill out all the forms, pay all the fees, keep all the records, mail in all the papers, stand in all the lines, have all the documentation, and follow all instructions, then everything will go fine and we will stay out of trouble.

      But this is to misunderstand how organizations work and how life works.

      While we are quickly treated correctly as though we are stupid and then it our fault when we do not follow all the endless rules the other created, you may have noticed that when it is the other person's or organization's fault or mistake, there is no rush to correct the problem whatsoever. Instead, we are told to wait, stand in another line, fill out another form, go away, wait, call later.

      The laws of our country collectively are millions of pages long, with ten's of millions of pages of court rulings and policy manuals that change and define these. Yet even if you follow all the laws and rules of organizations, that does not mean things will go well at all. The worst nightmares happen when you do everything right, and something goes wrong.

     In this all, internally and in our lives, we are victimized from when we get up to when we go to sleep. Bureaucratic errors and delays leave us feeling like we were burglarized - and there is little concern to correct such mistakes. The set of material tells how to avoid such problems and to build safety nets to avoid being a victim.

      While the U.S.D.S. set of materials has all the forms - including ones not in other sets - the greatest use of it is how very quickly (usually within seconds) as you go through marriage legalities to build safety nets and walls to prevent mistakes (not by your) and cover yourself when they happen.

     

      Yet I found talking in principle does not really help much, rather to give actual examples of what this means - and may happen to you. Think it can't happen? In fact, the only question is how many times you will face this in your life. Here are real examples:

     

 

Name Change problems…

 

This exact incident occurred on September 7, 2001 (our materials are continuous updated)… in this metropolitan area alone, it will happen many times a week.


The bride had done everything right and typical concerning her marriage license. Gotten married, minister signed the license and he sent it in. She had all the forms to change her name. No problem, no?

 

      She could have bought another name change kit or used free forms for a lawyer web site, or gotten them from the government agencies. But none would have prevented what happened. Her problem is a VERY common one.

 

      We have yellow page advertisements, web sites and wedding guide publication ads in our area, Dallas-Fort Worth, which is a massive metropolitan area of about six million people. These listings include offering "marriage license info." - when, where and how to get a marriage license. But on average, one to three times a day, we get a call from someone at wit's end asking if we can help them get their marriage license back after getting married. We receive many e-mails from around the country of such problems.

 

      This bride had married in the first of June, minister filled out and sent in the license (or said he did), and now it was September and she still had absolutely no proof that she was married. The clerks told her it was lost - after she waited 6 weeks.

 

      This was a SERIOUS problem for her, as her step-son needed major dental surgery and she could not prove that he was covered. The dentist would not do the work without being paid in advance or with insurance proof. But near all couples have to wait a month to a month and a half - at best. She was going on 3 months - and they were telling her it would be AT LEAST 4-6 weeks longer!

 

      Then and only then, 4 1/2 months after her marriage, could she start the name changing process. This is not uncommon. For most countries here, it takes 4-6 weeks (if everything goes right) to get the marriage license back. Four to six weeks with no proof of marriage whatsoever. When I officiate a wedding, the couple has immediate proof of marriage.

 

      Because a friend of mine had officiated the ceremony, I volunteered to meet her at the marriage license office to see if that time could be reduced. After a few minutes, she has her certified license and was on her way - finally - saving 4-6 weeks. I did not pull strings or make any threats, filled out no form, rather just knew how the system works - within bureaucratic rules of government documents - she could have a instant proof. Still, she waited 3 months for what she could have had the day she married. No "name change form" would have prevented this, but the solution is remarkably easy - and FREE!

 

      This set of information tells how to avoid these traps, It usually is not a question of "legal forms", but a matter of simple paperwork most do not do.

 

A HORROR STORY - No license after marriage -

 

      Heading out on a honeymoon without proof of marriage, domestically and certainly to a foreign country, is inviting disaster of terrible possibilities. This is the worst story I personal came to know of - about 8 years ago.

 

      The bride and groom, after a beautiful wedding, jetted off to Mexico for their honeymoon. On the second night, she leaned against the railing outside their 3rd story room with a beautiful view towards the ocean. The railing gave way and she fell three stories, landing on her back - crushing her spin. Miraculously, she lived and still had feeling her arms and legs. But time was critical.

 

      Most other countries are not like the U.S. They will just watch you die in a hospital unless you can pay and unless someone authorizes the medical care. But she has gone into unconsciousness, her last pleading a terrified belief that she was going to become paralyzed. She was just laying on the ambulance cart in the waiting room and they even pushed her into a hallway.

 

      No, they would not take someone's word for it on the phone. No, wedding photos did not help. Without proof of marriage, he had no authority to authorize any medical care and could not prove his insurance covered her.

 

      In desperation, he hired a taxi van to take her to a private doctor in a small office (they would not even let him take her on the gurney) - where he max-ed out their bank accounts and credit cards - bribing the doctor to do something. The doctor wrapped her in a body cast, gave her morphine, and told him that he better get her to a hospital before permanent paralysis set in.

 

      Can you image such a nightmare? How "this can't be happening!" was going through his head as his wife lay unconscious on table, crushed spine, in a little office in Mexico? Now he was broke, no car, no room, nothing. Making it more bizarre, the authorities told him that they could not leave the country because they still owes on the balance of their hotel room and the hospital for what little they had done!

 

      He begged two Canadians to help smuggler her across the border under a tarp in the back of their pickup and, finally, in Houston, got medical care. But his insurance would not cover an injury in Mexico. So that hospital did the care to avoid further nerve lose, put her in a better body cast and sent her home three weeks after.

 

      Back home, there was an non-payment eviction notice on their apartment door and notices of warrants for both their arrest for hot checks) he had cleared out the accounts in Mexico for the bribe.)

 

      Warrant officers even came to the door, but seeing her in a body cast decided to back off an arrest. The D.A.s office graciously said it would wait "until she was better" to arrest and prosecute her. It was a few days after that I met her - at another wedding I was officiating (I did not do hers, they would have had proof of marriage if I had.) She was on a couch in a full upper body cast.

 

      Hearing this story, there was not much advise I could give her, other than not to accept the D.A.s offer. Rather, she should send a letter saying that she was voluntarily surrendering herself for arrest and that she would not accept less than one year in jail.

"I demand that you arrest me and I will refuse any probation" (a person never has to accept any probation or terms of probation.) Since it would have cost the County $100,000 for her medical care, they instead dropped the cases.

 

      IF you are going out of state, and certainly out of the country, on your honeymoon, for both legal problems (arrests, civil disputes - which can be jailable) and for medical emergencies, proof of marriage is all-decisive. These materials tell you how - it's easy.

 

      Neither of these stories are uncommon. Problems proving you are married are extremely common and completely avoidable from the moment you are married.

 

WHY A WILL??

      The effects of Wills can have significant and great importance not only in the event of death, but also in other legal disputes - over children and property.

 

      If you marry, and your spouse dies, everything is yours, no?

 

      No, nothing is yours at first. The estate automatically must go to probate court (one paragraph in a will avoids that) and because there is no executor until the Court appoints one (that you will have to pay and because you did not designation someone in a will- does NOT have to be a lawyer) - all bank accounts, credit card accounts, and business accounts are frozen at least for weeks - you are suddenly literally broke.

 

      Nor do you get it all if there is no will. His/her relatives will probably get 50% your lawyer's fees will come from your half and you will pay half the executor's fees - as your credit is ruined, house goes into foreclosure and car repossessed with your accounts and credit cards frozen.

 

      If your deceased spouse's ex has primary custody of any children of a previous marriage, the children will likely a large part of everything YOU have (it all became community property when you married - a GOOD reason for Pre-Nuptial Agreements) -

meaning his/her ex will get probably about 1/3rd of everything that YOU have if there is no will. And since there was no language in any will about the children, you will likely never see the children again (as money is involved).

 

      This also can come into play (legal nightmares) if there are children involved in the marriage from any previous marriage in the event of medical problems (incapacitation.)

 

      Old insurance policies and retirement accounts can really add up - but there is a VERY good chance that your spouse never changed the beneficiary - meaning it all will go to his/her ex. You could hire a lawyer at thousands of dollars to fight this - if you have thousands of dollars after your accounts are frozen. Insurance usually pays within 15 days - so now you are trying to get it back in a court judgment a year or two later, assuming any of the money is left. Your chances are slim.

      Get the picture?

 

      No one like to think of death. But it come to all of us. Do we lover our spouse and children enough not to abandon them in death to financial and personal chaos and ruin because we were too lazy to sign a simple will? That is not love. But reckless thoughtlessness.

 

      Imagine years down the road, the prospect that you could completely lose the children and the ex would get all insurance, all retirement money, and 1/3rd or more of everything you have going to relatives that maybe never liked you anyway - as you go into complete financial and credit ruin.

 

      A simple will can avoid all that - and the will set addresses such very-real potential issues. It is NOT just a "Will Form Kit" - it is a set that covers the nightmarish, real potentials in terms of children, property, old insurance polices, retirement accounts,  EXs, relatives and personal rights - projecting into the future various possibilities so you do not have to write it over and over again - always safe.

 

Pre-Nuptial Agreements…

 

      People tend to think they are only to cover property issues in event of a divorce - and do not want to think in that direction. That is NOT the only reason for Pre-Nuptials. It may be for opposite reasons entirely.

 

      You have heard of "the marriage penalty" in terms of taxes, but the real marriage penalty is in terms of PROPERTY and LEGAL RIGHTS AND LIABILITIES.

 

      When you marry, in many ways you BOTH become responsible for each other's debts, liabilities, lawsuits etc. under "community property", This is NOT to your advantage.

 

      Here is a simple example. If you both really do want to each own 50% of all property such as the house - you want that "in writing" before the marriage so it is never "community property" - but rather specifically 50/50 non-community property. This can cover future home purchases and property as well.

 

      Why? Because if one of you does have a major legal jeopardy (lawsuit, big debt, business debts that come up, tax problems etc.) - they can NOT take it all, at best 50% Not only does this in many instances save the property, but also it is difficult to foreclose on 50% of a house, seize 50% of a boat etc, so they likely will make a better deal with you - particularly the IRS and tax people. It also allows you to shelter money and property with each other as long as it is not fraud in hard economic times of risk.

 

      BUT this MUST be done BEFORE marriage and before community property is enacted in the marriage.

 

      If you EVER think you will be in business for yourself, ever might be in a big lawsuit, might have tax problems, you WANT A PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT so that rather than your risked doubled and rights cut in half, you are twice as strong and capable of financial independent maneuvering. The "marriage penalty" becomes a "marriage bonus" in legal terms with Pre-Nuptial Agreements (good ones.)

 

      Pre-Nuptials also are extremely helpful in terms of rights concerning children in the event of death, disablement, and custody disputes.

 

      Of course, Pre-Nuptials can set other terms of ownership and rights, and can nicely also serve as a declaration of goals for the marriage as a philosophical and spiritual statement.

 

      Did you ever read any Pre-Nuptial Kit discussion that explains how they can give you great financial power, great financial protection, and a His and Her defense in legal and economic issues - to really be a team? A Pre-Nuptial Agreement can keep the good legal sides of marriage, but eliminates the terrible risks and shortcomings.

 

      Our Pre-Nuptial forms and language is what others have ("this is mine and that is yours…"), but also offers real world application language that is an enhancement on many fronts such as above (and many more) - AND explains why and what it covers. Of course, a Pre-Nuptial Agreement can be canceled later if both agree and can have a time limit to certain provisions.

 

      Personally, I truly believe in "all my worldly goods I thee endow". Yet without contradiction, in my own marriage, the handicaps of "community property" and "community liability" turned this upside down.

 

      One awful effect of financial problems of one of the marriage partners (which may just be bad luck), is that the other quickly tires of being at the same risk and losing all they earned and their half because of this. Pre-Marriage division of property 50/50 as NON-COMMUNITY property is almost always wise if risk might be possible.

 

      Yet it does not have to be 50/50 across the board, It can be 100% / 0%, items and accounts and liabilities can be specified. "ALL HIS BUSINESS DEBTS ARE HIS." "ALL MY PAYCHECKS ARE MINE…"

 

      A Prenuptial agreement can avoid bringing past economic and legal problems into the marriage provide benefits well into the future. They are not only in consideration of a possible future break-up.

 

OTHER THINGS YOU WILL NOT FIND IN ANY NAME CHANGE OR LEGAL FORM KITS…

 

      Great attention is given to children and related forms. Medical authorizations for babysitters and relatives and just in general. Special forms for step-parents to give them legal authorization to act as a parent. Power Of Attorney forms to quickly use for each other's interests. A Living Will language set (giving the other power in the event of catastrophic and non-recoverable injury or illness).

 

You can not do these things after-the-fact. Often when a problem is realized, the nightmare has begun and all but unstoppable. It is a lot easier to just get it done, the material all in front of you, and then not worry about it.

 

      Nor does the set just give you a big set of forms in language you can not understand. It explains what the practical purposes and considerations are - including the ones NOT to use. The set if filled with little suggestions that take seconds, but can affect your whole life.

      There is discussion of name changing if children of previous marriages are involved and ways to legally have one name for business and another name for family and social settings - both fully documented and useable.

 

CONCLUSION…

 

      For years, I lectured to Judges across the State in Judicial training. The U.S. Bar Association declared it the best training program in the United States. But while I talked of law in terms of law, more I spoke of law and legal issues in real, applicable terms - as that is what really matters.

 

      There are some great misunderstandings about how our law, courts and government works. People tend to think it is about fairness and reasonableness - but it is not. It is about the rules of play, policy and personalities of those involved. Are the rules in the game "Shoots and Ladders" or "Monopoly" about fairness and reasonableness? No, they are just the rules. If another player, through luck and using the tragedy of the rules has a hotel on Boardwalk you land on, it was not "unfair."

 

      Even the U.S. Supreme Court has declared time and again that a person legally wins if they prevail by the rules (law), even if they put it all together in ways unfairly to their advantage and against someone else. You must play life by the rules as they are, not as you want them to be or what you think they should be. The fairness of it all comes from everyone can use the same rules - only they are millions of pages long and most are not actually written anywhere! Still, that is how it works.

 

      To make this point to other judges of what courts and law are about, often I began my lecture with a story, an old joke, to make a point lost to most people:

 

      "An old country Preacher, a man of faith, was told at his church that a flood was coming as the rain continued to pour down and that he needed to leave. He declared, "no, I put my faith in the Lord!' and refused to leave.

      Soon, water was climbing the stairs and a deputy called from a boat, "Preacher! The dam's gonna bust! Climb in the boat, hurry!". But the Preacher said no, he would trust God. He gave the same answer to another Sheriff's boat from the window of the balcony a few minutes later.

      A bullhorn from a Coast Guard helicopter blared out, "Preacher, tie the rope around your waist, we will pull you up! Hurry" - as the Preacher clung to the cross on the top of the steeple with one hand and his tattered and well used Bible in the other. "NO! NO! I PUT MY FAITH IN THE LORD!" he shouted back through the roar of the helicopter, torrential rain and rushing water.

      And a wave from the busted dam washed over him and he drown.

      When he opened his eyes, he was before the unimaginably beautiful Pearly Gates of Heaven.

      St. Peter looked up from the Book. smiled, and told him those sweet words, "Oh good and faithful servant, you may enter heaven."

      "Now just you wait a minute!" the Preacher demanded, "there has to be a mistake here. I completely put my faith in the Lord, I shouldn't be here!"

      Puzzled, St. Peter replied, "well, we don't make many mistakes here, but I'll check the Book" - looking down at the Preacher's Book of Life.
      After looking over the last page, St. Peter looked up with a frown. "Preacher, I don't know what on earth you are complaining about. We sent you two boats and a helicopter."

 

      People are like that. Our law and society is like that. Everyone knows that divorce rates are growing near geometrically - and causes often include legal hassles, issues of economic conflict, and other stress elements. Millions, literally, millions of people find themselves in court - terrible stress on a marriage. 90% or more of first tries at business fail - nearly always with a divorce in the wake. Millions of bankruptcies - often with divorce in the middle of it.

      Everyone knows that our society is highly legalistic, highly aggressive, highly stressful, very competitive, rapidly changing and highly bureaucratic. And that people and their marriages are victimized by this everyday - IF they do not face reality. Endless annoyances, seeming glitches in the system messing up your plans, all sorts of conflict hassles.

      But within the law, within how bureaucratic and society rules work, still found are the answers IF you will face reality, not pretend things will be how you want because you want it that way (which is what most people do). No court, no police officer, no government employee or official, ever finds the word "fairness" or "reasonable" in their oath. Simple logic tells you that if you go through life without understanding or thinking about the rules of life as they really are, your life is going to have a lot of conflict and "bad luck" - just like playing monopoly without understanding  and ignoring the rules.

 

      In Court, how many hundreds and hundreds of times did I explain in real terms the various bad effects that could happen if they did not send a particular notice, write a particular form, or take a particular action - knowing I might as well be talking to the wall as they listen only to what they want to hear? They do not avoid problems, rather complain of endless problems that come - only after-the-fact. Then, a month or three years later, the person was back - not having done what he/she should and complaining how unfair life was.

      I had no patience with this. They did it to themselves. They wanted to write the rules, not follow what the rules really are - whether fair or unfair, reasonable or unreasonable. Always stumbling into the future. They could have avoided all of this in 5 minutes, but did not. "I told you this could happen, you knew it could happen, you did not do what you needed to you, so now it happens. No reason to explain it to you again. It's too late. You just lose."

      Above, I gave a many explains of future problems, from as simple as a lost marriage license to major economic lose. These affect millions and millions of people a year, and take terrible tolls on their marriages and peace of mind. You can think "none of those will ever happen to me" because it seems easiest. If so, you are betting against the odds of the house, gambling that you will be the one whose ball always lands on the number you pick on the roulette wheel.

 

      No wedding is complete until the paperwork is done. The U.S.D.S. set of Name Change Kit, Prenuptial and Wills forms and other legal issues is the best bargain you will find in the field of weddings and the benefits will serve you all of your lives - and may just save your marriage in the future. There is none other like it, because it is in real terms concerning real issues in your future. And they are very easy, quick to use.

      A reality of life is that the rain will come and the dam is going to bust. In fact, it will do so many, many times. This Set is the two boats and a helicopter.

 

 

Hon. Mark Ovard, Rev